How long a love letter should be is high on the list of questions people ask. There are as many answers as there are people who deserve a love letter because the length of a good love letter depends as much on the person getting it as it does on the person writing it. It can be those three little words or volumes. You’re the boss. But, one essential guidepost is how much the writer is comfortable in expressing and how much the recipient can absorb in one sitting. Is this person comfortable receiving an emotional outpouring? How about eyesight and the strain it might cause to read a long letter? How about ability to focus on what you have to say? There are all kinds of things to consider. Whether the love you feel is better served up in a teacup or a Niagara Falls is, like anything else in the world of love letters, up to you.
Debbie Harding, the exceptional artist about whom I have had the pleasure of writing before, was generous enough to give me a copy of the letter she wrote to her mother following her Love Letters Live presentation. I am moved at how cleverly Debbie’s one memory was the vehicle for all she wanted to say. And, as writing a love letter is not a one-time event, I am guessing that other memories and other letters will follow this one.
Dear Mom,
As we were all sitting around the table, and Gina was stroking London’s hair, London said, in such a dreamy little voice, “It feels goooood.” She had such a look of ecstasy on her little face, and it reminded me of a time in my childhood that I remember so well.
There are so many lovely remembrances that live in my heart, of my early life with you, but one that stands out, is the beautiful feeling of safety and love that I felt when you gently stroked my hair. With my little head cradled in your lap, I felt so full of love, and at peace. I would close my eyes, and just soak up the wonderful sensations. The soft tickle, as you oh-so-gently ran your fingers over my forehead, and around my face. Everything around me drifted away…and it was just the two of us. You have blessed me so much, not only at that moment in our lives, but now, as it has become a part of the memory of being loved so well.
And now, how great it is that your ‘little’ girl can stroke your hair. I love it when I am able to cut your soft, silky hair. As I lift your hair for each cut, I am reminded of how you loved me, and I am so happy to be able to give that love back to you, even by doing this little favor for you.
You continue to bless me every day, and I am so thankful that you live in my home. Our relationship is so rich with all of the moments that we shared, from those days when you stroked my hair, until these days when we can be together as adults. The tapestry of our lives together is still being woven, and every day is a joy to me.
I especially wanted to tell you these things, since there was a question at the table, as we were all sitting around, if London would remember the wonderful feeling of that moment, of having her mother stroke her hair. If Gina is anything like you, she will remember, because she will continue to feel her mother’s love day after day, and it will become so much a part of her life, that, though she may not remember that exact day, she will remember all of the days, from that day on, when her mother will again stroke her hair, and do so many other acts of love to bless her life, as you have and continue to bless mine.
I love you so very much!
Debbie
The result? Debbie said that her mom came to the bottom of the stairs, called her name and Debbie saw her standing there with tears in her eyes and both hands cupping her mouth. She was speechless. Thank you Debbie for this exceptional lesson in writing a perfect love letter.